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【佛山侦探社】从心理学角度理解婚外情,减少婚外情的发生

作者:佛山便民商务调查公司 发布于:2021-07-28 11:43:02

    探讨问题:从心理学角度理解婚外情,减少婚外情的发生

    Discussion: understand extramarital affairs from the perspective of psychology and reduce the occurrence of extramarital affairs

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    探讨员:佛山侦探社律师

    Investigator: Lawyer


    偶尔,我也能看到微博的抖动,也经常温习一下关于男人婚外情的话题,还经常看到各种批评贴子。

    Occasionally, I can see the shaking of microblog, often review the topic of men's extramarital affairs, and often see various criticism posts.

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    例如,婚外情只有0和无数。当你有外遇,你不能原谅它,等等。

    For example, there are only 0 and countless extramarital affairs. When you have an affair, you can't forgive it, etc.


    不过,总而言之,这样的评论一般要么是婚姻特别幸福、没有遇到婚外情的人,要么是没有结婚、期待完美婚姻的女孩。

    However, in a word, such comments are generally either people who are particularly happy in marriage and have no extramarital affairs, or girls who are not married and look forward to a perfect marriage.


    在大多数婚姻中,即使你没有遇到过性质恶劣的婚外情,你也可能会遇到一个精神不忠的男人,或者偶尔会三心二意。

    In most marriages, even if you haven't had a bad extramarital affair, you may encounter a mentally unfaithful man, or occasionally half hearted.

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    当大多数女性遇到这些情况时,真的很难成为评论中的旁观者,读别人的故事,说点,说点,然后离开。

    When most women encounter these situations, it is really difficult to be a bystander in the comments, read other people's stories, say something, say something, and then leave.


    我们也经常接收类似情况的学生,更现实地感到,当大多数女性遇到这种事情时,情绪崩溃是不可避免的。

    We often accept students in similar situations and feel more realistically that when most women encounter this kind of thing, emotional collapse is inevitable.

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    除了崩溃,男人们也会心疼。男人不能控制自己吗?为什么他们要在婚后发现婚外情,做任何不道德的事?

    In addition to collapse, men will be distressed. Can't a man control himself? Why should they find an affair after marriage and do anything immoral?


    今天,我们不是用道德来判断这件事的是非,而是从心理学的角度去理解婚外情,学会如何减少婚外情发生的可能性。

    Today, we do not judge the right and wrong of this matter with morality, but understand extramarital affairs from the perspective of psychology and learn how to reduce the possibility of extramarital affairs.

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    心理学离不开生物学和自然规律。

    Psychology is inseparable from biology and the laws of nature.


    在自然界中,所有社会动物种群的雌雄分布都有一定的规律。

    In nature, the male and female distribution of all social animal populations has a certain law.


    例如,在一个狮子群中,通常有4-26头狮子组成一个群,平均15头。在这个群中,总有一头成年雄狮作为它们的首领,而其他雄狮则被逐出群中,其余的是几头或更多的雌狮和幼狮。

    For example, in a lion group, there are usually 4-26 lions in a group, with an average of 15. In this group, there is always an adult male lion as their leader, while other males are expelled from the group, and the rest are several or more females and cubs.

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    一头雄狮占据了雌狮的大部分,这是一个狮子群中雌雄搭配的最佳结构。这是自然规律。

    A male lion occupies most of the female lion, which is the best structure for male and female in a lion group. This is the law of nature.


    此外,男性在一个性别中拥有数千万个精子,而女性通常一个月只有一个卵子,这也决定了男性完全可以繁育后代,而女性则注重自己的基因特征。

    In addition, men have tens of millions of sperm in a gender, while women usually have only one egg a month, which also determines that men can breed offspring, while women pay attention to their own genetic characteristics.


    在人类社会,在我国古代封建社会,封建帝王妻妾成群,后宫妻妾充盈,这不仅是父权社会造成的,也是自然有机体造成的。

    In human society, in China's ancient feudal society, feudal emperors had many wives and concubines, and the harem was full of wives and concubines, which was not only caused by the patriarchal society, but also caused by natural organisms.

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    现代人追求平等,用法律和道德约束人们的行为,但既然需要约束,说明生物学仍然存在。

    Modern people pursue equality and restrict people's behavior with law and morality, but since they need restraint, it shows that biology still exists.


    如果一个人在智力、才华、能力或人格魅力上超越他人,他就会产生拥有更多异性的想法。

    If a person surpasses others in intelligence, talent, ability or personality charm, he will have the idea of having more opposite sex.

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    心理层面

    Psychological level


    男人的“性欲发作”是向外的。这种“性欲攻击”是由弗洛伊德提出的。我们可以把它理解为外在的能量、能力、创造力、表现力、发展力等等。

    Men's "Libido attack" is outward. This "sexual assault" was proposed by Freud. We can understand it as external energy, ability, creativity, expressiveness, development and so on.

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    而男人总是需要外界的反馈来证明自己的存在价值。因此,事业和异性是男人证明自己能力的最好方式。

    Men always need external feedback to prove their existence value. Therefore, career and the opposite sex are the best ways for men to prove their abilities.


    事实上,现代社会对平等权利和婚姻有很多制约,离婚对双方都有很大损失。

    In fact, modern society has many restrictions on equal rights and marriage, and divorce has a great loss to both sides.


    有时,道德约束可能会影响一个人的职业发展。另外,很多人工作压力很大,没有精力处理更多的人际关系。

    Sometimes, moral constraints may affect a person's career development. In addition, many people work under great pressure and have no energy to deal with more interpersonal relationships.

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    因此,在考虑是否继续婚外情时,很多男性会考虑实际情况。当大多数男性在家庭和婚外情上做出选择时,他们也更倾向于选择家庭。

    Therefore, when considering whether to continue an extramarital affair, many men will consider the actual situation. When most men make choices in family and extramarital affairs, they are also more inclined to choose family.


    因此,一般能把婚外情当成真爱,影响家庭,或坚持教书,基本上是婚姻本身的问题。

    Therefore, it is basically the problem of marriage itself that extramarital affairs can be regarded as true love, affect the family, or insist on teaching.


    这种关系中存在一些问题,导致男人冒险,在外面寻求安慰。

    There are some problems in this relationship, leading men to take risks and seek comfort outside.


    什么样的家庭问题会导致男人在有婚外情时放弃原来的家庭

    What kind of family problems will lead men to give up their original family when they have an extramarital affair


    例如,当男人在家庭中总是没有尊严时,他们很容易在外面寻找。

    For example, when men always have no dignity in the family, they can easily look for it outside.

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    据说家庭是一个港湾,但对于许多结了多年婚的男人来说,他们在这个港湾里总是显得局外人。

    It is said that family is a harbor, but for many men who have been married for many years, they always appear to be outsiders in this harbor.


    下班后,我在车里坐了很长时间,不想上楼,因为回去的时候,我不得不看到妻子在抱怨,很恶心。

    After work, I sat in the car for a long time and didn't want to go upstairs, because when I went back, I had to see my wife complaining. It was disgusting.

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    最后,我回到家,总是躲在四个角落,厕所,厨房,走廊和阳台。似乎只有在这些角落里抽支烟,我才能得到片刻的宁静。

    Finally, when I got home, I always hid in four corners, toilet, kitchen, corridor and balcony. It seems that only by smoking in these corners can I get a moment of peace.


    掐着烟回到家里,被人指使做事,也不喜欢做得不够好,想放松又被人指责太闲。

    When they smoke home, they are told to do things. They do not love to do well. They want to relax and be accused of being too idle.


    这些场景不是一厢情愿,而是不少男生的表态。作为一个女人,我经常听到这些,感到家庭压力很大。

    These scenes are not wishful thinking, but the attitude of many boys. As a woman, I often hear this and feel great family pressure.


    嗯,对这个人来说,他在事业上有很大的压力,他回家的时候不能理解,而且他总是很帅

    Well, for this man, he has a lot of pressure in his career. He can't understand when he comes home, and he's always handsome

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